The Sad Part Of My life

I may seem like a happy person that doesn't need anything from life and that has a great family. Well yeah it’s true, but the sad part of my life is the fact that I never actually had my real dad with me. My dad left my mom when I was only one and my mom was barely pregnant with my brother. He did not know that my mom was pregnant. My parent got back together but my dad treated us like shit, that was when I was 2 and my brother was a few months. He treated all of us like shit so my mom left him. He used to visit us and treat all of us very good. He was the one that got me into drawing because he has raw drawing skills. He got my brother into instruments because he is raw at that too.

However that didn’t last for long. After the last visit he left and told my mom to tell us that he was dead so we would expect to see him again because he didn’t want to know anything about us. He said that to him we are dead for him and much more. My mom told us the truth and all our illusions of our changed dad that would stay with us hit rock bottom. All of our family and us wanted to go kill him. We still do.

Do you know how it feels to not have a dad? It's like you have been rejected big time by your own dad. Knowing that your dad is alive, but he doesn’t want to know nothing about you. I’m at school and there is a father and daughter event, I can’t go. I see other kids with their dads and I just look away. I draw and it reminds me of him. Whenever I hear a curtain song he used to sing to me I get really sad. Whenever people tell me that my art work is good it takes me back to when I used to watch my dad draw. I like people telling me but i hide my sad feelings. Whenever my uncles see my drawings they tell me stories of my dad. Whenever people ask about my dad I don’t know what to say. My mom tells me all the time that I remind her of my dad. She tells me how we do stuff alike even though he never taught me. She tells me how much I look like him. At times I can’t hide my feelings so most of the time I cry at night for a long period of time. I’m even crying now!

At night I ask myself if did something wrong. I ask myself many questions. I don’t blame myself. I just want to know the reason. He wanted a little girl. I’m here but he’s not with me. Sometimes you have to appreciate what you have because others may not have what you have, like having both of your parents with you.